


Let Down Again

by hanyou_elf



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fanboy Dean Winchester, Gen, disappointed Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-13
Updated: 2014-10-13
Packaged: 2018-02-21 01:13:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2449853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanyou_elf/pseuds/hanyou_elf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is disappointed, but he's not surprised. </p>
<p>Or: Dean wants to go see Captain America: The Winter Soldier</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Down Again

Dean can’t help being excited for the new Captain America movie. He loves the updated version, loves Chris Evans’ portrayal (and the absolutely delicious way he fills out the spandex costume) and the rebirth of one of his childhood heroes. 

When he was seven years old, Dean managed to get his hands on his first copy of a Captain America comic book, from Danny McMorgan. He’d devoured the fifty-three pages of the introduction to an undersized runt who only wanted to fight for the greater good. The story of a wholesome man who had believed in the good in everyone and had only wanted to do his very best to protect those around him.

Dean has always related to the Captain’s determination to fight for his fellow man, when they couldn’t do it themselves. He can relate to the immortal notion of the goodness of Steve Rogers (he doesn’t see himself as Steve, more of a Bucky Barnes type: willing to do whatever it took to protect the one person he cared the most about).

So when he wakes up on the movie’s premiere date, he doesn’t bother to hide his excitement. It wasn’t a secret when they growing up, and Dean’s never hidden how his geek side wins sometimes. It’s helpful when it comes to finding the more adventurous men he used to play with. He’s in a good mood, excited to see how the movie is going to adapt one of his favorite comic book storylines, excited to see how Jefferson from Once Upon a Time is going to do as a Russian assassin (and secretly hopes to hear some Russian accents and delicious, harsh Russian).

Sammy doesn’t look twice at Dean’s vintage style Captain America t-shirt, the shield design artfully aged on a black t-shirt that hangs loosely from his body, a bad sign since he’d bought it snug. He’s losing weight, alcohol and insomnia winning over his body’s processes. He shakes the thoughts away and instead focuses on the positive: Captain America.

“Plans tonight?” Sammy asks.

Disappointment is hard to tamp down. Dean had mentioned them seeing the movie, had told him they had plans and to not forget, because it was a good distraction from Cain and the Mark and all the shit the world was determined to throw at them. It was an opportunity for them to just be brothers, to have that one thing that had connected them in childhood.

(Dean can still remember the way Sammy’s eyes had followed him around the Halloween after he turned seven, when Dean was eleven. He’d spent a month making himself a Captain America costume from old clothes and scraps of fabric that had turned out pretty spectacularly. He’d also made Sammy a police officer uniform for the city they’d last stayed in because he’d wanted to be Captain America until Dean told him no, which meant he just wanted to be a regular old cop then. He’d conceded, of course, and Dean’s costume was a little tight, but if it fit Sammy well, nobody paid enough attention to notice.

Sammy hadn’t cared much about it after January. But Dean still remembered the hero worship and excitement Sammy had had when he wore the Captain America costume.)

“We were going to see Captain America tonight,” Dean shrugs, determined to keep it as light as he possibly can. To not let the fact that Sammy had forgotten bother him as much as it does.

“I’d forgotten,” Sammy shrugs. “I have a date tonight, I was going to use the car,” he explains.

Dean can feel his stomach drop, can feel his racing heart and twin peaks of color on his cheeks as disappointment and acceptance flows through him. And a little bit of hate as he accepts not going to the cinema tonight, because he knows he’ll never stop Sammy from going out.

A night with a bottle of whiskey wouldn’t hurt anyhow. He can lay in his room and watch the first Captain America and masturbate to Chris Evans in the costume and khaki combo he’d worn on his rescue mission that they’d gotten that had fit him so well. He shrugs, forcing nonchalance into his movements and nods. 

“Don’t scratch her paint,” he demands in acceptance and passive permission, dropping his keys on the table.

The movie will still be in theaters for awhile after all.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this way, way back in April. For reasons.


End file.
